


And you’re not alone

by broken_fannibal



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Autistic Character, Communication, Established Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, autistic Arthur Pendragon, autistic Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 23:59:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17110583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fannibal/pseuds/broken_fannibal
Summary: There was some kind of stressful situation and its not quite over and they´re both tense.Arthur does something he ends up regretting.





	And you’re not alone

**Author's Note:**

> woah I suck at writing summaries today... well I doubt many people will read this anyway so *shrugs*
> 
> and I´m not sure this is actually good? so please tell me if it is.

Merlin paced in his chambers and muttered things to himself while Arthur sat on the bed and struggled to stay calm.

It became increasingly difficult. Merlin’s quick movements, his sharp quiet words, the fast but muted shuffling of his feet. It was all quiet and yet seemed so big. He felt stress rising in his chest. Bubbling up and making him restless.

Everything was too quiet, too small. He clenched his hands in the blanket. It wasn’t enough.

Merlin kept walking, the same track over and over again.

The light of the fireplace flickered causing Merlin’s restless shadow to jump.

Several more minutes later, Arthur was so on edge that he jumped off the bed, stalked over to Merlin and grabbed his shoulders and shouted: “Will you just stop?!”

Merlin froze. He stared at Arthur with wide eyes. He was completely still now.

Arthur let go of him.

Merlin stood there as if frozen in place for a few more seconds. Then he spun around and fled from the room.

The door remained open a little. Arthur slammed it shut.

He sat down in his chair. His feet tapped on the floor, he drummed his hands on the table. His rings made loud noises every time they hit the wood.

After a while, he got quieter. As the stress subsided, he could think again. He looked up, searched his room. Merlin wasn’t there. Where was he? Hadn’t he been with him earlier? His eyes widened as he remembered. Damn it. He shouldn’t have done that. He really shouldn’t have done that. He shouldn’t have yelled at Merlin. He gave a deep sigh. He had to apologise. Wait. Merlin was usually upset for a while after a situation like this. How likely was it that he had calmed down by now?  
Arthur didn’t know how long it had been since he left.

Well, only one way to find out. He got up and on his walk to the physician’s chambers, he thought about what to say. He’d have to be quiet. And he shouldn’t talk too much. That would be a bit difficult. Carefully, he knocked.

After a minute that seemed to pass way too slowly, Gaius opened the door. “Oh. Good evening. Come in.” He spoke quietly and stepped back.

It told Arthur all he needed to know. He glanced around but couldn’t see Merlin anywhere. “I came to apologise to Merlin.”

Gaius nodded. “He’s in his room.”

Arthur thanked him and calmly moved towards the small door at the end of the room. He pushed it open, went inside and slowly closed it behind himself. He found Merlin laying on his bed, curled up on his side with his pillow pressed against his chest. Arthur crossed to him and sat down on the floor next to the bed.

Merlin had opened his eyes. He stared at Arthur’s shoulder.

“Sorry.” Arthur mumbled.

Merlin blinked slowly.

Arthur saw no reaction. So he waited.

Many minutes passed in complete silence. Arthur fidgeted with his ring. He couldn’t stand it but forced himself to stay quiet. For Merlin.

“Clotpole.” Merlin mumbled.

A grin broke out on Arthur’s face. Relief washed over him. He almost wanted to reach out, to touch Merlin, pat his arm or hug him. But then he remembered the touch would probably not be welcome. So, again, he waited.

He didn’t know how long it had been when Merlin spoke again.

“You can go.”

His heart sank. He stared at his hands. Had he misjudged Merlin’s reaction? Was he still mad at him?

Merlin waved his hand in front of Arthur’s face. “No. What- you...” he sighed. He gave a deep sigh, his voice sounded tired. “I need sleep.”

Arthur nodded but there was still a heavy frown on his face. He mulled it over in his head and decided that he had to ask. “Are you mad at me?” He kept his voice low and calm.

Merlin shook his head. “We were both stressed.”

He looked like he might have something else to say, so Arthur waited.

But he remained silent.

Arthur nodded, he rubbed over his ring. He wanted to reach for Merlin but still wasn’t sure it was okay. He wanted to card his fingers through Merlin’s hair, feel him pushing into the touch. Instead, he inhaled and rested his fingers on the edge of Merlin’s bed.

Merlin eyed his hand. He wondered what went on in Arthur’s mind. What was he going to do?

Arthur stole a quick glance of Merlin’s face, saw him staring at his hand. He raised it and slowly reached for Merlin’s hand. He guessed it would give him enough time to pull away. This would be so much easier if he could just ask. Or tell Merlin what he was thinking about. But with everything he had said he probably already stretched the limit. When Merlin didn’t pull back or made a noise of protest, he gently rubbed over Merlin’s knuckles.

He checked Merlin’s face for any reaction but there was nothing, he just looked down at their hands.

Arthur caressed his knuckles one more time before he pulled back and got up.

Merlin followed his movements and watched him go.

For a moment, Arthur stopped in the doorway. He glanced back at Merlin and smiled. He nodded and he turned around again. After closing the door, he went down the steps to Gaius.

“Tell him he doesn’t need to come to wake me up tomorrow.” he whispered.

Gaius nodded and accompanied him to the door. “Good night, Sire.”

“Good night.”  


  
The next morning Arthur woke up when the curtains were being opened. He squinted against the sudden brightness. When his eyes had adjusted, he recognised who stood by the window.

“Merlin?”

A broad smile lit up his servant's face.

“I thought I told Gaius you could sleep in today.” He frowned in irritation and sat.

Merlin stood at the edge of his bed, his hands clasped behind his back as he so often did. “But I wanted to be here.”

Arthur huffed. “Very well.”

Merlin smiled again and went to get his shirt from the wardrobe. He pushed it over his head and helped him put it on.

Arthur got up and stretched. He hadn’t slept too well that night. The stress of the day before still bothered him.

After a while of sitting at the table with his breakfast, he asked: “How are you, Merlin?”

Surprise took over Merlin’s features. “I´m fine.”

“Really?”

Merlin stayed quiet, his eyes skipped around the room, irritated.

“I know yesterday was a stressful day for both of us.”

Merlin nodded and sat down next to Arthur. “I´m fine.”

“So you said.”

“I am.” he repeated. Most of the time Arthur’s stubbornness was annoying but in situations like this, it was almost endearing.

Arthur huffed and nodded. After a while, he asked: “There was a special meeting today. What was it about again?”

Merlin shook his head with a fond smile. “The King has invited noblemen from the estates outside the city and wants to discuss several political matters with them.”

“Ah. It couldn’t have been anything more interesting, could it?”

Merlin tried to suppress a grin. ”I don’t think there is any way to get out of having to attend that meeting.”

“Pity.” He picked up another strawberry.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
